I have covered the topic of sex with endometriosis a few times in this blog and I am always amazed at how many people read it, yet we don’t seem to comment much about it. I figured this meant you want me to write about it more—even if you are a little shy to comment.
Initially when I used to get pain with sex it used to actually worry me. I used to think it was causing things to get worse and so I would refrain from having sex too often. Having studied Endometriosis a little more and understanding how things work a little more, I can share with you that having sex with Endometriosis is not a bad thing, even if it is painful.
Let me explain. The first reason sex is painful with Endometriosis is due to the formation of adhesions and cysts in the wrong places. So, essentially the cysts form on the very organs that move when we have sex. If cysts have been there for a long time, they develop into adhesions, which are essentially long stringy bits of blood, much like bridges, and they cause organs to stick together, making it hard for them to move. When we then have sex, where some movement occurs down there, they push on these organs, pulling at the adhesions and pulling the organs they are attached to. This is the pain we experience with sex. These organs are not meant to be stuck in one place and should be free to move around as and when needed.
I did write a slightly controversial article that indicated that having sex with endometriosis might actually be a good thing. The reason being that we would encourage movement and blood flow to the area and essentially get things moving out at the same time. It is just a theory of mine but I have actually seen this statement mentioned in a Chinese Healing book.
Essentially, the cysts and adhesions are made of stagnant blood. This is misplaced blood, which is essentially what Endometriosis is. That stagnant blood will only keep getting stickier and adhere to more organs if it is not moving or broken down.
So, if we get movement happening down there, in various forms then the adhesions will loosen up and their “bridge strength” will weaken. The less adhesions we have, the less pain we will have. There are a number of ways we can weaken those adhesions. The key element here is movement—this can be in the form of exercise, castor oil packs, massages, heat applications, herbal remedies that heal the uterus area and yoga poses which flex the various organs in the abdominal area.
One of my personal favourite supplements which really focuses on breaking down the dead cell formation is Serrapeptase. It is an enzyme, which essentially “eats” away dead cells.
The second reason sex can be painful is only indirectly related to Endometriosis. Many women who suffer from Endometriosis also suffer from what is commonly called estrogen dominance. Essentially, it means we have too much estrogen versus progesterone. This imbalance causes a series of symptoms and one of them is a lack of libido and dryness. These symptoms would indirectly cause pain with Endometriosis as, simply put, we are not ready for insertion and are not lubricated enough. This lack of lubrication can cause tenderness and pain in the vagina itself.
The combination of dryness and internal pain can also cause women with Endometriosis to quite simply “close up” more. So, we clamp and squeeze those abdominal muscles for fear of it being painful. This clamping and squeezing will often make things worse as we are using more muscles in the abdominal area and it will tighten things up, making it likely that we then have vaginal pain.
The best thing you can do for vaginal dryness is to use the most natural lubricant, called coconut oil. It is fantastic and is a natural antibacterial product at the same time. It lubricates well without destroying anything like some of the other lubricants do.
Naturally, getting your hormones checked and assessing the severity of your estrogen dominance will help increase your libido. Apparently eating home-made fermented Sauerkraut does wonders for this.
Now that you know the reason why sex is painful with Endometriosis, you can feel much more relaxed about it all and really focus on enjoying each other. Remember that sex is not the only way to feel close to your partner and that honesty is vitally important. If it is too sore, just stop—it isn’t much fun for either of you that way anyway!
Feel like sharing your personal experience with sex and endometriosis? Don’t be shy! It might help someone out there who is struggling with it all.