This journey with endometriosis and choosing natural healing has taken a lot of different turns and some amazing new discoveries. I have found huge connections with candida, our digestion and our liver. I have delved into what I believe is the true cause of endometriosis and opened myself to the real possibility of truly healing from it all. I have done cleanses and changed my diet and tried all sorts of unique supplements and herbs. It has been a truly amazing journey.
The part of the journey that perhaps we might not be aware of is the one that happens deep within us. It is the journey of our true selves. The women we are.
See, endometriosis seems to reach deep within us. It touches a part that is so close to us. It is the essence, the purity and the true core of who we are. It is our womanhood and our sexuality. It is inside our creativity, of that amazing life force that we can create and the amazing creativity which lies within us. It is all wrapped up in a big ball, which could block us on some intimate inner spiritual level. This massive tangled up ball just sits in us and we slowly have to chip away at the connection to our inner selves.
True intimacy, honesty to ourselves and our compassion for ourselves seem to be different journeys which we take along the physical healing route. Our ties to our past with our sexuality, our womanhood and our ability to create children are all imbedded within this healing journey. We are tapping into the essence of who we are.
I have never expressed this essence of myself on such a profound level. I have never allowed myself to acknowledge that connection with endometriosis and the core of my womanhood as I have done over the last few months. I think the biggest challenge has been acceptance. Not necessarily acceptance of endometriosis or pain or the physical sides to this whole thing but rather acceptance of myself. Accepting myself and where I am in my life. Who I am. Accepting that I am beautiful, in my very essence, allowing my body to be loved and treasured. Accepting that inner connection to myself and not blocking who I am anymore. Not willing or wishing for things to be different, for my life to be something else or my body to be something else. Loving and accepting my personal status quo.
I think so many of us wish so hard for things to be different. That we could somehow find some miracle to make our lives different. If only we could win the lottery or find a life partner or find a cure for endometriosis. Surely then our lives would be different? Surely then we could do all the things we have always wanted to do and be truly happy?
What if this is the journey you are meant to be traveling. What if the true acceptance of yourself and connecting with yourself is all you really need to do. Being you and accepting all of you.
I know my journey has brought up some amazing connections with my past and I have learnt so much about myself and how to let go of anger, hurt and frustration.
This journey of self-discovery is like coming home. Finding yourself again and letting her be. Letting that inner child or inner self be free to live and express. Letting all of YOU out and not being scared or afraid of her true will. Letting yourself be present within each moment and not overthinking or delving into what could be or what has been.
We need to come to a place of real love. Love of ourselves and that very inner essence that is us. We need to accept all that bundled up stuff which has its inner hold on our womanhood, our core. Once we can truly accept all that is there, we can slowly release its hold and let it flow freely out of our body.