There was a time when my statements about life and healing weren’t quite so positive as they are in this blog. I couldn’t overcome days when I was in severe pain and I certainly didn’t believe in trying new and different methods to healing. I had mentally given in to a belief that I would always be sick, that life had handed me this terrible disease and that I had to simply live with it forever. My life would be Endo, and Endo would make decisions about what I could do with it. I believed it so much that I gave into it, allowed it to almost fester and I gave it power over me and my body.
Thing is, it is very easy to get to this place. This place of absolute depression, where things are tough and you simply don’t believe you will ever be better.
I think there are a few factors as to why we have depression and why it is so much more prominent with Endometriosis.
1.We are not given any sense of hope
When we meet with our doctors or gynecologists for the first time to establish where all this pain is coming from, the options we are given are generally only to “maintain the pain.” We are seldom shown any indicators of hope and the general consensus is: “You cannot cure Endometriosis.” You will have this condition forever or your options are limited to hormonal treatments with side effects that you have to weigh up. Wow, that makes you feel all happy inside, doesn’t it?
2.People just don’t get it
You might be lucky enough to have some people in your life that are there for you but the thing that gets to you most of all is that they simply don’t get it. Few people do. They don’t understand and though they can sympathize, they will never really be there with you, in that hospital bed, on the bathroom floor or within your swirling head with overactive emotions.
3. It is inevitable to be emotional with Endometriosis
Our hormones are out of control. This is part of the side effects of the condition. So, it is inevitable that our emotions go mad with it. We feel depressed more, we feel happy more, we feel every emotion there is MORE. It is part of the hormones. So, it is natural to feel sad and depressed about a particular situation more too. That situation is the Endo itself or other life factors that you would perhaps normally take easier but with Endo, it has a compounding effect.
4.It is an isolating condition
It is not like we generally go running around shouting at the top of our lungs, “I have Endo and I am sore because of it!” No, it is actually fairly embarrassing to even discuss it with our doctors, let alone people at work or people we meet, even friends. This is partly why so many women don’t even know they have the condition but it is also why it can be so isolating. It is hard to share with others. Sometimes I find it really funny… When I do open up to someone about it, chances are they also have it or they know someone who does.
It is easy to feel alone and lost with it though, as it feels like you are the only one in the world with it. Even when we do find others out there, it can also be hard to find women who have the same level of the condition. It sounds really nasty but somehow you want to find women who have the same level of pain as you, just so they can relate and understand how you feel. I used to find heaps of women with stage 1 Endo when mine was like stage 4 and they just seemed to carry on with life as if nothing had changed, whereas I had to make huge sacrifices to be pain-free!
5. It is exhausting to be sick all the time
When we are tired and sore from Endo, we get sad easier. Have you noticed this? I know I have. I tend to get sad so easily when I am tired as everyday things take energy and things that I want to do seem so out of reach, just because I am too sore and tired to even consider them. That makes me sad. I want to do the things I want to do! I hate not being able to do things others can, just because of Endo!
It can be big things like life decisions, career decisions and it can also be simple little things like walking up a mountain that can just be out of reach because of Endo. That makes me cross and angry and yes, depressed.
Thing is, these are all relevant reasons to be depressed with Endo and it almost gives you an excuse to allow yourself to wallow in it. Thing is… what does that give you? What does that achieve for you?
I know I have also been very depressed with Endo. I used to feel such a lack of hope and isolation with it all. My life was Endometriosis. That was everything and my excuse for all of it, it was completely horrible, I hated it every single day, until I discovered how CBD could help me, it felt like a blessing to me, my symptoms started to disappear and thankfully I was able to recover.
You can dig yourself out of that hole. You can find hope and reduce your pain and suffering from Endo. There is a way and you need to start believing that there is. You need to find the positives in both your Endo, your life and what you have and the opportunities for you to show your body how to heal.
Find the sources out there that prove the doctors wrong. Find websites, blogs and sources of hope that you can do this. That you can overcome anything, including Endo! Go to the library, search online… just keep looking and finding answers. The more you search, the more you will find and the more hope you will get. Hope is the first step towards getting out of your state of depression. Hope for a better life, a happy life and yes, a pain-free life!
It is important to share your emotions with someone who understands. Why not join a support group or find other women who share your pain with Endo?
Join the free private Support Group here.
You are not alone. One in seven women have this condition. Believe me, you have many friends out there who can be there for you, including me!