There was a time when my statements about life and healing weren’t quite so positive as they are in this blog. I couldn’t overcome days when I was in severe pain and I certainly didn’t believe in trying new and different methods to healing. I had mentally given in to a belief that I would always be sick, that life had handed me this terrible disease and that I had to simply live with it forever. My life would be Endo, and Endo would make decisions about what I could do with it. I believed it so much that I gave into it, allowed it to almost fester and I gave it power over me and my body.
Thing is, it is very easy to get to this place. This place of absolute depression, where things are tough and you simply don’t believe you will ever be better.
I think there are a few factors as to why we have depression and why it is so much more prominent with Endometriosis.
1.We are not given any sense of hope
When we meet with our doctors or gynecologists for the first time to establish where all this pain is coming from, the options we are given are generally only to “maintain the pain.” We are seldom shown any indicators of hope and the general consensus is: “You cannot cure Endometriosis.” You will have this condition forever or your options are limited to hormonal treatments with side effects that you have to weigh up. Wow, that makes you feel all happy inside, doesn’t it?
2.People just don’t get it
You might be lucky enough to have some people in your life that are there for you but the thing that gets to you most of all is that they simply don’t get it. Few people do. They don’t understand and though they can sympathize, they will never really be there with you, in that hospital bed, on the bathroom floor or within your swirling head with overactive emotions.
3. It is inevitable to be emotional with Endometriosis
Our hormones are out of control. This is part of the side effects of the condition. So, it is inevitable that our emotions go mad with it. We feel depressed more, we feel happy more, we feel every emotion there is MORE. It is part of the hormones. So, it is natural to feel sad and depressed about a particular situation more too. That situation is the Endo itself or other life factors that you would perhaps normally take easier but with Endo, it has a compounding effect.
4.It is an isolating condition
It is not like we generally go running around shouting at the top of our lungs, “I have Endo and I am sore because of it!” No, it is actually fairly embarrassing to even discuss it with our doctors, let alone people at work or people we meet, even friends. This is partly why so many women don’t even know they have the condition but it is also why it can be so isolating. It is hard to share with others. Sometimes I find it really funny… When I do open up to someone about it, chances are they also have it or they know someone who does.
It is easy to feel alone and lost with it though, as it feels like you are the only one in the world with it. Even when we do find others out there, it can also be hard to find women who have the same level of the condition. It sounds really nasty but somehow you want to find women who have the same level of pain as you, just so they can relate and understand how you feel. I used to find heaps of women with stage 1 Endo when mine was like stage 4 and they just seemed to carry on with life as if nothing had changed, whereas I had to make huge sacrifices to be pain-free!
5. It is exhausting to be sick all the time
When we are tired and sore from Endo, we get sad easier. Have you noticed this? I know I have. I tend to get sad so easily when I am tired as everyday things take energy and things that I want to do seem so out of reach, just because I am too sore and tired to even consider them. That makes me sad. I want to do the things I want to do! I hate not being able to do things others can, just because of Endo!
It can be big things like life decisions, career decisions and it can also be simple little things like walking up a mountain that can just be out of reach because of Endo. That makes me cross and angry and yes, depressed.
Thing is, these are all relevant reasons to be depressed with Endo and it almost gives you an excuse to allow yourself to wallow in it. Thing is… what does that give you? What does that achieve for you?
I know I have also been very depressed with Endo. I used to feel such a lack of hope and isolation with it all. My life was Endometriosis. That was everything and my excuse for all of it, it was completely horrible, I hated it every single day, until I discovered how CBD could help me, it felt like a blessing to me, my symptoms started to disappear and thankfully I was able to recover.
You can dig yourself out of that hole. You can find hope and reduce your pain and suffering from Endo. There is a way and you need to start believing that there is. You need to find the positives in both your Endo, your life and what you have and the opportunities for you to show your body how to heal.
Find the sources out there that prove the doctors wrong. Find websites, blogs and sources of hope that you can do this. That you can overcome anything, including Endo! Go to the library, search online… just keep looking and finding answers. The more you search, the more you will find and the more hope you will get. Hope is the first step towards getting out of your state of depression. Hope for a better life, a happy life and yes, a pain-free life!
It is important to share your emotions with someone who understands. Why not join a support group or find other women who share your pain with Endo?
Join the free private Support Group here.
You are not alone. One in seven women have this condition. Believe me, you have many friends out there who can be there for you, including me!
This Post Has 14 Comments
It is a total pleasure hun 🙂
I am so happy I could be there for you. Endo doesn’t need to bowl us over. We can take back the control and bowl it over instead 🙂 head up girl. We are in this together 🙂
Thank You for the article, today I hit rock bottom, feeling alone.
Found myself having a good cry when I read it and I thought and felt FINALLY SOME ONE GETS IT AND UNDERSTANDS.
Thank you, dried my eyes dusted myself off, put my big girl panties on and decided to get on with the rest of my day.
THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE 🙂
Hi Julie. Your determination alone is enough to get you there! Half the battle is making the commitment to find any means necessary to healing! You can get there 🙂 Just keep trying and fighting and things will start to improve. Slowly but surely!
Becoming endo free would be a wonderful thing.:) Thank you for the encouraging words that it can happen.:) I have been a little overwhelmed with all the changes that have been going on with my body and frustrated with the fact that right now because of having endo I am not able to do certain things that I really enjoy doing because of the pain. I am hoping with a combination of herbal therapy, diet changes, and birth control that I will be able to get my life back. Just trying to make the most of the days when I am pain free, and I am realizing this may take some time to figure out what works. I am determined to get there! 🙂
Perhaps you are better off not accepting it as a permanent part of your life? 🙂
You can be endo free. I have seen many women who are. It might just take us some time but we can get there 🙂
I am happy to help and let me know if there are questions which I haven’t answered.
My pleasure 🙂
This article really hit home with me today. The first paragraph is exactly how I have been feeling lately. And, all the points you discussed are right on. I am starting to accept that this will always be a part of my life, and am working on not letting it control my life anymore like it has for months.
I do believe the more I educate myself on it and make some changes in my lifestyle that I will be able to get my life back.
I have already been learning so much from all your newsletters. I have had so many unanswered questions about this that your newsletter has answered. Thank you so much!:)
Love your style girl! Life is too short for regrets or wanting more. Just enjoy what you can with this very moment that you have 🙂
Thank you Melissa: I really liked what the zen habits article said (below). I am going to order the book you mentioned. Change your life. Twelve Principles for beautiful living. I will be sure to tell you what I think. I will find my vision, you promise… Ok…. here I go… Thanks again.
So forget about “success”, and just find joy, passion, love, awesome-ness right now, in this moment. *That* is a success you can achieve, without any self-help course, without any method. Just go out and do it.
Hi Jane, You couldn’t have picked a better day to respond to me. I have been feeling those exact feelings today. I have been offered a potential full-time role at the company I am working at and it has that age old question:”is this really what I want to do?”. I have searched so hard for so many years to find that true passion myself. What I discovered is that my true passion is helping others. I read a great book which helped me massively. It is not the usual book of setting goals and all that. It is much better. I did a whole blog post on it cos it was that good:) http://endoempowered.com/have-you-got-some-real-new-years-resolutions-read-this-amazing-book-that-will-inspire-you/. Now I just see work as work and not as a career or something that is supposed to define me, make me more. I am already who I am. You will find your vision through this book, I promise 🙂 It might be harder or easier than you first thought! Now I have my vision and it will just take some time to get there.
I simply accept that I can enjoy what I have and make the most of what I have achieved so far. Don’t feel empty for it. Just focus on what you have done and what you can do. It is hard to let ones career be perceived poorly. It really doesn’t matter in the end, we all come to the same place…. as long as we enjoy life and the journey that should be all that is important. Check out Zen Habits. It really opened my eyes to a different way of looking at things. Check this one out: http://zenhabits.net/anti-success/ Maybe just let it go for a bit and don’t focus on it quite so much. Just delve into things that make you happy 🙂
I can totally relate. But you were right about sharing that you have endo. It is amazing how many people know someone that has it. I just told my friend the other day. I told her why I was trying to remove some things from my diet.
The roller coaster is what gets me. I can be so up about something and then one word from someone, or something happens and it triggers that feeling of anger, defeat etc…
Lately I have been so much better dealing with the physical pain, but the emotional pain keeps wanting to sink me.
I think we give so much power to one thing in our life and then it destroys the other parts. I am still angonizing about my career. I feel totally worthless because I do not know what i want to do. The pressure overwelms me. I honestly have not had one job that I truly loved. God says without a vision we will perish. That word vision haunts me. I feel like I do not have one. I feel like my time is running out to find one. I search and search and come up empty. I have read so many books on finding your passion and still here I am. I even invested in a life coach. But yet the wheels did not spin
Thank God I have faith to carry on with out God I could not do this.
Thank God for people like you Melissa that share so much to give hope to so many
Soooo not alone sweetheart! We just need to pull ourselves up and carry on. It can only get better 🙂
No worries Sara!
Thanks for this! I struggle with depression a lot- and unfortunately life circumstances have at this point not been helping things as far as the depression goes- but I often do find that my emotions are practically on the fritz and all over the place- it becomes irritating (another emotion that drives me insane). Also, being that I am an obsessive-compulsive, hypochondriac, I can easily depress myself. Knowing that I have endo is just the half of it. Glad I’m not alone on this one. . . XD
that sums it up!
thank you for sharing