Another month has gone by and another Ovulation and monthly period has come and gone. I know I have a lot to be grateful for and that I am lucky that the pain is minimal, with an average of real pain days once a month. I am heaps better than I ever was before I changed to an all natural diet and am looking after myself. But….. somehow I am not getting past this stage. I still have Endometriosis and I still get occassional bouts of pain, like when I am very stressed or if I stray from my diet a little bit. I feel like I am only suppressing the severity of it all and that it still there. The diet certainly helps and we know that stress is a trigger but to me, this is not CURING Endometriosis but merely controlling it.
I know I should be grateful for where I am and that things are better than they have been for years but somehow it is not enough. I want a cure. I want to be gone with Endometriosis! Permanently and forever!
So, I need to do more. I need to find more answers and keep searching for real solutions to make that happen.
It is funny because I was totally fine with how I was doing with my Endo. I felt in control and like everything was working. Then, tonight we went out and met some new people. One of the women I met had so many symptoms of a body which was out of balance. She had poor liver function, allergies and seemed to get infections easily and yet…. she was fine. Her body was fine. I was actually somehow jealous of her. She seemed so carefree and that she didn’t have anything that worried her or stressed her out. She could eat whatever she wanted and how no problems whatsoever! I felt like I was quite heavy and emotional in comparison – I know totally weird cos that is not how most people describe me! I felt this angry voice come up within me – life is unfair …. why me…. all that stuff! VERY ANNOYING!
Now, I know my big motivator is to find a cure and that I spend a heap of time reading up on what I need to do, to do this but at some stage I also want to still remain the light and positive person I am. Somehow all this restriction and control just contradicts that light and positive person in me. I know many of us struggle with this balance. At some stage, we still need to live and enjoy life. I know that my diet and what I put in makes a huge difference so it makes sense to stick to these things but at what stage have we gone too far?
To me it becomes a question of time and to just try harder and look deeper. It is funny because it is only when I experience a little bit of pain again that I really become insistent to get rid of it forever. I have come so far with my healing and though I have had to be strict with my diet and what I do, I wouldn’t change it for anything as I have totally gotten results from doing it! I guess I just want to see MORE. More results, more indicators that things are getting better and less and less symptoms of imbalance in my body. I just need to find more.
I know for many of you out there, it is often at this stage where we want to give up. I mean really…. we have cut out so many things out of diet, followed doing yoga, meditation, exercise and leading a stress free life…. what more could we possibly do? Thing is, there is always more to try and more and deeper understanding of the body and how it works to explore. To me, this is just more motivation to keep at it and to keep trying things to find a real cure. A total cure. It is exciting and it is rewarding to keep finding the information and to keep researching.
Life has been a little stressful the last few weeks – new job in a new place, so my pain has flared a little more… which indirectly is a benefit for us all – just more motivation to find some real answers and to find a cure for us all! 🙂
I hope you are all doing better from the dietary changes in this blog. We can all get there – I will do my utmost to find it and prove that we can be cured!