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We should be really proud of who we are!

I think sometimes we don’t realise how much we have to be thankful for. We spend so much of our time trying to find out why we have this Endometriosis, what causes it and most importantly how to reduce it’s effects on our lives! It dominates so much that it is hard to see past anything else but wishing it was just gone and could be washed away like a wild flood.

Thing is, we should actually be really proud of ourselves. We have struggled through amazing feats and we still manage to keep going, to keep searching and to still stay positive that somehow we will find an answer, a solution or at least something that will make this pain all go away or at least subside for the day.

I think Endometriosis makes us more compassionate people. We feel more emotionally, which I believe translates into an understanding of others. We can share in others pains and misfortunes as we have undoubtedly experienced some degree of what they are going through. I believe this makes us deeper and more unique individuals. Think of how simple we would be without really experiencing the depths of pain and the joys of not having any! I know this is a strange, indirectly positive stance on Endometriosis but I think we really don’t recognise how much Endometriosis has gives us. It teaches us so much about ourselves and forces us to find a way forward.

I have been reading this book about how to make more of your life. In one of the chapters, the author was going on about not giving up when times get tough. Thing is, with Endometriosis, we actually have little choice. There is strength in that. We have overcome great things mentally by overcoming episodes of pain, which we have all experienced to some degree within our lives. This actually translates into other areas of our lives, if we allow ourselves to draw on this strength. We eventually get a place, where something has to change and we have to make that change. This takes courage and positivity to believe that the next thing will offer us some glimmer of hope, that perhaps we will be better off.

I know when I have had episodes of pain, I have mentally been able to talk myself into a state of calm, where the pain subsides. So much of that is years of practice but I also think it shows how powerful our minds can become.

I also think we have to be brave and be ready to stand up for ourselves. This is sometimes so hard for me. This means, asking for a gluten free, vegetarian meal at a restaurant, not drinking alcohol when everyone else is and saying no when we know something is going to affect us badly. It is so hard to do these things. It makes me feel so uncomfortable sometimes that I shy away from even going out or being in those situations, cos I don’t want to stand out as being “special”. I have my brave, “stand-up for myself” days but sometimes I just want to crawl into a little ball and hide away from it all! Even worse, when I just give in and eat it anyways, just to avoid the “why are you on a special diet?” conversation….

On some level we also become teachers and informers with this same dilemma. I often find, once I open up in social situations about why I am on a “special” diet and actually explain why sugar, wheat etc are bad for me, that it opens up a whole new conversation, where I am helping educate others. I often find others will actually come forward and share their own struggles with digestion, diabetes, being overweight and it offers me the opportunity to help them, through what I have learnt. I am sure you have learnt quite a few things through having endo, that can help others.

We need really good friends and partners. The best way to test what a real relationship of any kind is made of is to see how those around you handle things when you are sore, emotional or even worse are stuck in a self-loathing self pity state! It really proves who your real partners are in life. Sadly, many people don’t fit the bill but those that do are such loyal, hugely giving and loving people. This is a great thing! We therefore have the best friends and partners in our lives, who support us and care for us, no matter what! I would much rather have a handful of those, than a whole bunch of false, materialistic friends! It is an even better test for men! What better way to test his love for you, than to experience one of those “I hate the world!” moments! If he still sticks around after that, well you have found your true love!

I know Endo can also be a very lonely place as sometimes we don’t find those “gold” people to share life with. This in itself makes us stronger. We find ways to be happy with our own company and to find enjoyment with just ourselves and the things around us – nature, art, playing, sharing and giving! I actually really enjoyed finding “me” and just exploring all aspects of myself!

Thing is, no matter what we keep going. We keep searching and we keep trying and I believe that if we all do that, we will find a cure. The answers will come. We just have to trust in that. Let it go for a little and trust that the answers are there for us….just waiting for us to be ready to hear them.

Never forget how special we all are. Endometriosis has made us better, stronger and more compassionate people!




Hugs, Melissa x
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This Post Has 6 Comments

  1. Melissa

    Hi Alex, it is wonderful to share our pains – even if they aren’t even the same condition. Arthritis is also an inflammatory condition, so she is likely to also have similar other symptoms as us! Tell her to try some Flaxseed oil – it will help her too 🙂 Love your website 🙂
    I hope you find relief from daily pain in my blog,

    Hugs melissa

  2. Melissa

    Sharing is huge and takes away so much of that “alone feeling” which comes so much with having endo. Glad I can share with wonderful girls like you 🙂

  3. xk

    Thanks Melissa 🙂 by sharing and expressing our pain/relief, it does help to make our lives more positive, and knowing that there are ‘others’ out there, going through what we experience on a daily basis, does give us more compassion for one another, and others who do not understand our difficult journeys.

    Quoting you, “Never forget how special we all are.”

  4. Alex Wells

    This was such an uplifting post. I think it’s so easy for us to think that there is something wrong with us, rather than think that we have something extra to offer because of our experiences. When just trying to be “normal” takes so much effort, I often feel like a failure. It seems that simple things everyone else is enjoying, like exercising and eating, shouldn’t be so hard!
    Your point about sharing and finding out others stories was great too. You can’t tell by looking at a person what’s going on in their life. Yesterday I met a friend and my telling her that I had endo led to her talking about her debilitating arthritis (she’s only about 40y.o.) I would never have guessed it – she looks fit and active. But she’s in daily pain. And I knew just how she felt.
    Thanks again!

  5. Christina

    I think the same thing everyday but you put it in words. You go girl!

  6. sameera

    I agree Mel. I had also gone into some sort of depression until I found your blog and found that it is possible to live a close to normal life if we made the necessary changes in our lives. Wishing all us endo girls the best that life can offer!

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I'm Melissa

Sick of dealing with endometriosis and ready to move forward?

I empower women to stop feeling like a victim to their endometriosis and find empowering ways to reduce pain & symptoms. 



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