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Is this your Personality talking or is it just the Hormones?

Sometimes I feel so lost and so chaotic with my thoughts that I barely recognise myself. I couldn’t work out if it was just the way I am or if it is the dreaded hormones going up and down. I decided to look in my diary for some insightful information….. what I discovered was quite interesting.

There is definitely a trend within the way I act depending on what time of the month I am in my cycle. I never recognised that hormones could be so powerful in how I feel every single day and yet, there was a distinct pattern of feeling more lost and annoyed with life just before my period. Feelings of cloudiness and uncertainty around my ovulation time and pure irritation 3 days prior to my period. Scary!

So, does this mean all those bad personality traits we just don’t like about ourselves, we can blame on our hormones? Well, I guess to some degree we can! J

There is a term they commonly use to describe women with sudden personality changes between ovulation and your period. You probably know it well – PMS. The thing is that PMS all relates to our hormones or fluctuations of them. Some women have got such severe hormonal changes they become suicidal, extreme in their actions to the point of walking out on a job or their husband. It can be quite bad!

Thing is, it makes it hard to distinguish between our own selves and our fluctuating hormones! How do we know if we should take ourselves seriously? Do we really need a change or is it just the hormones talking? Does that person really annoy you or is it just that you are annoyed at everything at the moment?

I know for me, just before my period I always feel restless. I have noticed this trend every month and there are some months when it is worse than others but restlessness has always been quite a big one. I used to think it was in my personality but somehow that feeling of needing change, big change always seems strongest about a week before my period! Once I get my period, I feel quite happy with where I am in my life and everything is as it should be….. scary!

Do you get patterns with your hormones? How do you know when they are your personality or whether it is just the hormones talking.

I guess this is the tricky part. I have worked out that I can recognise other more obvious symptoms in my body that tell me it is the hormones. Here’s some of them you might recognise:

  • Aches and pains in my shoulders and lower back
  • Bad skin – break-outs
  • Tiredness
  • Headaches
  • Dizziness
  • Bowel changes – constipation or diarrhoea
  • Sore throat
  • Excessive thirst

Thing is, there really is a long list of emotions which are directly attributed to our hormones. I guess it can somehow make you feel better. I know it makes me feel better that these thoughts and feelings are not me. They are not who I am. They are separate from me. A separate entity which just comes in and takes over for a day or two, or an hour or two while that hormone plays around in my head! You recognise any of these?

  • Confusion
  • Feelings of insecurity
  • Indecisiveness
  • Paranoia
  • Jealousy
  • Poor Judgement
  • Loneliness
  • Inability to cope
  • Anxiety and tension
  • Aggression and irritability

Thing is, I see these hormones as a means to highlight whatever you wish to feel. So, lets say you get a thought in your head that you are feeling lonely. If you give that feeling of “lonely” more power by thinking about it, those hormones almost give it more emotion. You feel more lonely and almost delve into the “lonely” emotion. Make sense? So, whatever we think or feel we can create a more intense feeling of that emotion with our hormones.

So, next time you are feeling any of the above feelings, flip them on their head and focus your thoughts on a different emotion that is positive. Try it!

I think of things that make me happy and calm. You could feel really happy about things you have in your life, your husband or a good friend. You could feel really grateful about where you live or how you look today. Anything. It doesn’t really matter. Just learn to flip it. Flip the emotional switch onto a positive emotion and that way you are no longer the victim of your hormones. It is incredibly powerful and it is certainly better to train those nasty hormones to do something good for us rather than something bad. They are just emotions and we can control them in our favour!

Ultimately we can make a decision on what we allow our mind to think. We can stop it and alter it into something positive. So, the next time you find yourself yelling at your partner or wanting to pack your bags and leave, stop and think. Is it just the hormones taking over? If the answer is yes, redirect your thoughts onto something that makes you feel good, happy, content and grateful.




Hugs, Melissa x
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This Post Has 4 Comments

  1. Melissa

    Well at least you don’t dread those days before as so many of us do – ha ha! That is cool hun and I am sure it makes you even more intriguing to those that know you well 🙂

  2. Kat

    Being shy, quiet and not engaging I noticed that before (and during) my period (with the usual physical symptoms of bloating and sore breasts) I also tend to change my personality to outspoken and very active. Most of the women I know get negative feelings as you said and then there’s me who is actually happy and active. (Apart from moments when the sore breasts’s pain reaches its peak or cramps during the first days of period). It’s just weird. Also you can tell I’m going to get my period in a few days, because I’m sharing all this stuff and making comments on the internet! It’s really funny that it makes me so outspoken, I should probably menstruate every weekend, so I can fight awkwardness during the week without problems. ( Although not really.)
    Sorry for being weird.
    I hope you have a nice day. 🙂

  3. Melissa

    Brilliant point! That is why it is so important to be positive and believe things will be okay! I know many people who just can’t get positive though and they allow the emotions to take over. I have been there too. It is a hard place to be! Diet and exercise really helped me heaps 🙂

  4. Jane

    Yes we have to take captive our negative thoughts and reverse them. I have found it helpful that when I have a negative thought I verbally say.” That is not true” and I come back with a positive. I read this in an article and it is so true:

    When you have a happy thought your brain produces a chemical that the body receives and your body feels relaxed, but if you have a negative thought that makes you angry (for example: remembering a wrong that has been done to you), your brain produces a chemical that makes your heart rate increase, your muscles tense up, and you physically feel the anger that the thought created. Now, have about 20, 100, or more of those thoughts a day and you can imagine how bad your body and mind would feel at the end of the day. So many people feel stressed, tired, and overwhelmed. Much of this is caused just by the negative thoughts overwhelming their body.

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I'm Melissa

Sick of dealing with endometriosis and ready to move forward?

I empower women to stop feeling like a victim to their endometriosis and find empowering ways to reduce pain & symptoms. 



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