Much of what I share on my page is based on personal experiences that I have personally gone through. I think it was has helped me relate to you and your struggles so well – on some level, we have been through similar things and I can totally feel what you may be experiencing and can therefore guide you and help you from a really deep place of understanding.
However, when it comes to pregnancy and wanting babies, I have never truly understood that deep seeded desire to have a child. Sure, there have been moment within my journey where the desire has become more intense and the longing was certainly there. (Read more of those posts here) But, in general it was never something I have really, truly wanted. Not like you may have felt… where the desire has always been there from a young age or it is something you want more than anything else on earth.
When women have reached out to me with guidance or understanding around wanting to get pregnant and wanting to use IVF treatment, I have perhaps not truly appreciated the depth or challenge with these questions to the same extent. To me, the equation of going through IVF for a child would never have been justified because I simply didn’t ever want a child that badly.
So, I thought I would share from a someone who did want that desire to have a child and the experience she personally had with using IVF treatment.
I do have a key message that I want to share with this post:
Stop, take a breather and really evaluate all possible options.
Now, this can apply to IVF, surgery or any other form of treatment you may be considering. Healing, wanting children and wanting to live a normal life are all natural desires. We just have to way up which route we plan to take to get us to those results.
The sad thing is that many of us simply want quick fixes to resolve things that may be going on within our health. The worst place to make decisions is from a place of fear or thinking that “I have no choice”. We always have a choice and there are always more options to explore.
I totally get the pressure. I totally get the fear. I listened to that voice and those voices (by other people) for many, many years and they didn’t get me any closer to feeling well within my body. I can’t take those 15years back and desperately want to help you and guide you to really way up your own options more carefully… well, cos I personally didn’t ;).
I needed to slow down enough to connect with my body and really see what I could personally do to feel well and nurture myself. It was only then that I started to see how much I could do and how much responsibility I could take for my own health. It was only then that I truly shifted my reality with endometriosis, pain and could finally get off the surgery merry-go-around.
You always have a choice sweetheart. Stop, take a breather and really evaluate all your options…
This Post Has 4 Comments
Hugs Crystal. I am sure you can become a mom. Perhaps you should join us for the next Drop my Pain Challenge?
My name is crystal. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 8 yrs here coming up in November. I am so exhausted with the fertility drugs.I just found out in July that I have endo and they were able to remove it all from my reproductive organs but had to leave the build up close to my colon as there was to high of a risk to remove it. So I have less than a 9 month window before it starts growing back. All I want is to become a mother and gain control back of my life where my hormone levels didnt cause issues to the point of weight gain and my periods didn’t feel like torture. I’m just reaching out as I know now that I need a support system and to know that I’m not the only one suffering with this.
Thanks for sharing your message hun. It is so important 🙂
Thanks for that video Melissa. It’s a subject that is dear to my heart.
I feel like before starting IVF there would be a disclaimer: this treatment may/might/almost certainly will make your endometriosis worse.
The clinics that provide IVF see women with Endo all the time, they must have some inkling that the drugs are causing flare-ups. Where are the clinical trials? It’s too often focused on the goal of a child and often ignores the side-effects other than OHSS. Women need to be informed.
Having said that, even knowing what I know now, I would still go ahead with it as for me, there didnt seem to be an alternative route. That drive to have a family can be really strong! Just be more aware that there will be a lot of setbacks along the road and you will have to work really hard to heal after each stage. If you are someone whose endo is particularly painful now, don’t rush into it and do the work to get your health back before you start or you may do damage you can’t undo, leading to more surgery. You have more time than you think.