Getting pregnant can feel like a huge goal. Something that feels completely out of reach and almost impossible when we have Endometriosis. I have heard so many heart-breaking and also heart-warming stories of women with Endometriosis. Women who have been trying for years and others who eventually did manage to get pregnant.
The key thing that I have noticed is just how desperate women feel when they are told they cannot get pregnant. I think it is because suddenly we feel like a life choice has been taken from us. Like we suddenly have less control. It can start a deep-seated feeling of being broken or like something is really wrong with us. The desire to have a child becomes all-encompassing and we get to a place of wanting and are prepared to do ANYTHING to make it happen.
5 Key things to consider before getting pregnant:
1.Carrying a child is hard work!
I recently connected with a subscriber of mine who had made some inroads into changing her diet and looking after her body. She was desperate to get pregnant and after a few miscarriages, eventually carried her child successfully to term. She was initially really thrilled with the news and couldn’t believe that she had succeeded in carrying her child past the first three months.
However, her pregnancy was one of the hardest physical experiences of her life. Her body simply struggled to cope with carrying a child. She developed all sorts of deficiencies within her body and generally felt incredibly unwell. She had nausea for the whole pregnancy, experienced dangerously low iron levels and struggled to even get through the day as she was so exhausted.
We want to know that we are truly healthy and well before we consider getting pregnant. There is a way to prepare your body for pregnancy so you don’t experience nausea or deficiencies.
2. There are other factors to research
I know when I experienced my first miscarriage, I instantly thought that something was wrong with my body. The reality was far more complex! I think it is dangerous to instantly assume it is our body which is at fault and should rather research many other factors which could contribute to miscarriages or an inability to fall pregnant.
Some other factors which could play a part:
- You have a poor gene mismatch with your husband/partner.
- Your partner has poor sperm quality.
- Your vagina is rejecting his sperm as it is too alkaline or too acidic.
3. Recognize the importance of folate
Folate is a key vitamin which we need to be able to reproduce. It is what allows for our cells to divide properly—this is ultimately what allows for a baby to grow. It is critical for the development of the nervous system of the fetus. It is important to note that folic acid and folate are not the same thing. Folate is the natural form, while folic acid is a synthetic form.
There are a few factors which contribute to low levels of folate in your body:
- You simply don’t eat enough folate sources in your diet, such as dark leafy greens and nutritional yeast.
- You have been on the contraceptive pill or other estrogen-altering treatments. These impair folate absorption.
- You could have the MHTFR gene which has been shown to challenge folate absorption.
4. There is an emotional component to having a child
Our minds and our thoughts are incredibly powerful. We can influence our hormones, our heart rate and even our digestion by something we are thinking. Ever noticed how you get all clammy and your heart rate increases because you are watching a scary movie? This can be a power we can enhance or something that could be influencing how our bodies respond to us.
If we have had a traumatic childhood or an experience which may relate to our uterus, then this could be influencing how we relate to our bodies. I know for myself, I only realized that my uterus felt incredibly hurt and distant after experiencing seven operations. You can read my thoughts on this experience here.
How you relate to your body and any thoughts or feelings you have around having children could all be playing a part in how your body responds to pregnancy. I have met many women who recognized that they had a negative experience in their past which had influenced how their body responded. Once they were able to clear the emotional pain behind their experience, pregnancy became much easier and they also felt less stressed about getting pregnant in the first place.
There are some emotional aspects which could be playing a part:
- The relationship you have with your husband/partner;
- Your relationship with your mother; and
- Believing that a child will define us
5. Your life will change once the baby comes
I know this seems kind of obvious when we are desperate to have a child but few moms consider the commitment and energy needed to look after a child. When your body is struggling and you already have low energy days now, then it will become even more challenging once the baby arrives. Your baby will need you to be well and to be there for it, at any time of the day or night.
We want to be the best moms we can and provide for our babies in every way possible. This means providing for your baby while it is in the womb but also once your baby arrives. The best way we can do this is to have the healthiest body possible before we get pregnant and to be there for our baby fully when it arrives.
I hope this helps you and gives you hope on other avenues to explore.