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Could There Be an Emotional Connection with Endometriosis? Part 2 of 2

Yet another theory is that we have somehow created disease in that particular area to protect ourselves or as a form of prevention. Like making sex painful because we may have had a bad experience with sex and are scared to re-experience that event. Perhaps creating difficulty in having children, to avoid the pain of losing a child. I thought this for a while. I lost my brother when I was really young and perhaps as a six-year-old child, I may have wished that I never suffered the pain of losing a child. In doing so, perhaps I created endometriosis to protect myself—a way of not being able to have children. I know this is a little extreme really but our subconscious minds are incredibly powerful and as a young child you can believe in things which are far from true.

One of the most advanced “emotional release sessions” (couldn’t think of a better word!) I actually discovered that as a young child of six, I had blamed myself for my brother’s death. I honestly believed that it was my fault and had suffered years of guilt towards my mother for not being able to bring him back. This was after a full weekend of tapping into that emotion I experienced with regards to my mother and I cannot express to you how free and light I felt after releasing this belief from my body. It was unbelievable! Amazingly, it was also after this that I experienced four years of being symptom-free from endometriosis.

Unfortunately, as kids we often feel that we have amazing powers or take blame for things. Kids often blame themselves for their parents’ divorce, for instance.

I can imagine that if one had suffered a traumatic experience like child abuse that there could be some child’s perception or belief that could alter how we see ourselves, our reactions to things or our stress in adult life.

The thing is, there might be some truth to these theories and you might have made some connection with one of them that I have mentioned. If you have, then that is a massive key for your own emotional healing journey. I have researched a few techniques on emotional healing. The key element I personally found important is that we release the emotion from the body. I have heard of people who gain benefits from psychology as it helps them change their perspective on an event and that releases some of the emotion. Personally, I feel we need to free the emotion from the body entirely, without any thought or logic connected to that emotion. That is my experience but I have never personally tried seeing a psychologist. If you have, feel free to share.

There are various ways of releasing emotions from the body. There are also techniques which dull our reactions or even alter our thoughts. Hypnosis is one technique which some women have explored where they alter their reaction to stress or revisit a childhood event. Meditation is a means to calm your mind and allow you to almost find the emotion and calmly release it from the body.

One of the most amazing stories is the story of Brandon who wrote a book about how she shrunk a basketball-sized growth in her abdomen within six weeks, simply by delving into the emotions held within her body and freeing them. Though I can totally get what Brandon has delved into, to me it was always something I was meaning to do but never quite got around to. The confrontation of doing this technique was always a little scary. It is like looking into a black cupboard and seeing your deepest pains and emotions and having enough strength to keep looking in order to free them. I know that this way of releasing emotions is much more powerful than any other form of release—I have done this type of work before. It allows you to release huge emotions and the feeling of freedom afterwards is really amazing. The trouble is, it is fraught with a sense of fear. Well, to me anyways. I am almost scared to know what is in that dark cupboard and though I know by looking I can free it, there is also a part of me that feels I need to be “ready”, which somehow I never quite feel I am.

The one I personally love is the EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). It is a technique that I discovered about a year ago. I read about it on the Internet and to be honest I initially thought it was a load of rubbish. It works on a principle where you tap certain parts of your face and neck, while delving into a strong emotion you hold about an event you may have experienced. By tapping at the same time, the emotion gets released and afterwards you no longer feel pain when you think of those same thoughts or emotions. The only reason I even tried it was to have something to share on my blog—oh, it does have its blessings! I have used EFT twice and both times I was totally amazed at how much of a difference they made to my life. I had one major session when my dad passed away last year. Before the session, I couldn’t even say the words “my dad has passed away” without instantly going into tears. I had no interest in life, my blog or anything. I felt dead inside and incredibly lost. After the session, I had the old me back and I always found a deeper sense of purpose and no longer feared death. The session lasted one hour and the transformation was amazing. I know it sounds strange and hard to believe. The only way you can know what it does is to try it. You can do this yourself without a trained EFT therapist but personally I found it easier to do with someone guiding you. I always find when I try and do it myself I tend to fall into more of self-pity and don’t actually get to the core of the problem. My therapist is amazing at finding the core of what the problem is and releasing that. She really looks at the emotion from every angle and is incredibly gentle at the same time. You can get in contact with Anna here and she uses Skype to do the session, which is very private and easy to do.

So, I guess the question is, do you think there is an emotional connection with endo? Do you feel you have “created” endo on some level to protect yourself from something? Have you tried any emotional release techniques? Anything you want to share that has helped you or that you feel would benefit me or anyone else?


Hugs, Melissa x
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This Post Has 21 Comments

  1. Melissa

    That is amazing to figure out and make those connections. I would explore ways of releasing these memories form your cells through emotional healing techniques.

  2. Marijose Avila de Brown

    I know this is old, but I started psychological therapy due to infertility and failed IVF treatments. I investigated about the emotional causes and found it can be fear to giving birth. Then I did some research on women’s lineage and found that in my family all women from my mom’s side suffered giving boy, giving birth has been painful and even deadly! I found that amazing and I’ve been working on it. After discovering this, my past 2 periods have been almost painless without strong painkillers, they were without blood clots too. I’m amazed and I hope it just keeps getting better.

  3. Melissa

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts Dr. Alagiyawanna. I am very aware of these thought patterns through my own experience and the many clients I have treated and can definitely see a connection here. I totally agree with your points on the western “scientific” brainwashing and the so called “treatments”. They are inhumane to women and don’t consider the long-term consequences in most cases.

  4. Daniel

    Dear Johanne,
    mansplaining men like him, who’ve been brainwashed in the western “scientific” way to see the world, are one of the typical causes for fibroids and endometriosis diagnosis’ leading to hysterectomies. … what cannot be understood needs to be removed. Never ask a surgeon for advice ’cause the only treatment that they know well is the knife!
    Millions of women are undergoing this extreme “treatment” without need, just because men still believe misogynist Freud, that the reason for female “hysteria”, is being dickless and suffering from the existence of an uterus… offering “treatments” through hysterectomy.

    Reasons for Fibroids seem to often be rooted in (repeated) blows to a woman’s femininity by her partner(!) and keeping that hurt to her feminine ego alive, living and reliving it.
    Reasons for Endometriosis seem to often be frustration, lack of self-love or self-worth, blaming others for their disappointments and general insecurity but specially about being a woman and having the ability to potentially have children or subconsciously not to want children, while e.g. still believing that a woman should have children, to make her a “real” woman – an extremely difficult to solve inner, emotional conflict.

    Emotions and thoughts of “not being enough”, “not being worth it”, “not being able”, insecurity and unhappiness may manifest in women’s uteri.

    Men react to the same things with developing symptoms … just in different organs (but we men are not the topic here and now).
    We do not know much about the power we have over our own health and sadly, not much research is being done into the mind/emotional connections to the body either, since it just is not profitable.

    What is left is to observe ourselves and to speak with each other to discover connections between the ways we live our lives and the subsequent illnesses these ways promote.

    I am a doctor, who realized that I’ve not ever been properly prepared to what the world has thrown at me. Quite the opposite: my medical education has effectively thrown me off the right track my observations lead me to, until I was finally forced to dismiss a whole lot of my “western medical knowledge” and turn to alternatives, traditional medicines and psycho social insights.

  5. Melissa

    Thanks for sharing Ingrid. I agree – we have to approach endo from all angles – hence developing my REACH Technique©

  6. Ingrid

    I know this post is old. But love the thread. I sometimes think that endometriosis is our female bodies feeling the pains of mother earth and the collective repression of females in ojr culture. Like a collective cry for help. Ps. Also read avout dioxins in fish. Theyre supposed to cause endo in monkeys. So perhapa it is an environmental problem only.

  7. Johanne

    Hi Michael. I think when you start educating yourself about health in a different way that doctor are taught you would understand that what she says makes a lot of sense. A lot of cancer or disease are being created by us or our environnement. Starting with the way we eat, the stress, anxiety, plastic, pollution… there are so many factors and if we pay atention to our body, emotions as well as what we put in our body, we can heal ourselves.

  8. Michael

    You know, endometriosis is a chronic disease that affects millions of women and although the cause is unknown within the medical community, they are working diligently on better treatments and a cure. It’s clear to me that there are various ways that patients can treat their diseases and some patients like holistic approaches. But, this type of thinking and over analyzing doesn’t help people take the disease seriously and instead will reinforce the “It’s all in your head” blaming game. I honestly don’t believe that you developed endometriosis to prevent yourself from having kids so you don’t have to suffer the lost of a child. I think we are over thinking this too much. That’s like telling a woman, “you have breast cancer because you have psychological problems.”

  9. Joy

    Hi Melissa,

    Thank you.


    Joy 🙂

  10. Melissa

    Hi Joy! You have amazing courage and strength. It is so incredible that you could forgive the rapist and move forward to heal yourself. You are a true spirit of strength.
    I am so happy to hear the article resonated with you. I know this life is an endless journey and being open to listen and learn our own lessons is all part of it. Glad to hear you have been listening 🙂
    Big hug and so happy to hear from you and make contact. Please keep in touch.

  11. Joy

    Hi Melissa,

    I just stumbled across your blog today and particularly this article after I had an aha moment reading Eckhart Tolle’s book. He spoke about the pain body and how it creates diseases. I was date raped at gun point 18 years ago, diagnosed with endo in 1998 when my late ex hubby and I tried to conceive. I struggled to conceive in my second marriage as well and didn’t enjoy the sex with my 2nd ex hubby as I found it painful at times.

    I just realized that I was unconscious throughout the years that the rape incident contributed a lot into the whole thing. I unconsciously created the pain body in my mind to protect myself from being hurt. I am now whole, healed, happily single, doing a lot of inner spiritual work, finally forgave the rapist ( haven’t seen him since that incident) and so at peace with where I am right now in the journey of my life.

    I enjoyed reading this article, it might be old but it is relevant to me and served me when I needed it at the right time.

    Thank you.


    Joy 🙂

  12. Sameera

    Interesting to see how many endo gals here have been brought up with the view that sex and our feelings are bad, dirty and something to be ashamed of. I was not abused as a child but I was brought up in a very conservative manner. Interestingly some other endo gals also shared this feeling.

  13. Melissa

    Really valid point about the monkeys Mel! I never considered them in all of this. Perhaps it just helps our healing to release the bad emotions that cause extra stress and therefore reduce our ability to heal.

  14. Melissa

    Thanks Mechelle and interesting that you feel there is a connection. I think you can forgive but more importantly it is about releasing the emotions of anger or anything else you might feel towards them, that might be a good focus point.

    It is always a pleasure! Especially when I have you reading my articles 🙂

    Hugs back!


  15. Mechelle Bradbury

    Hello my dear Melissa! I am always so touched by how you open your heart and share your life with us. What incredibly deep losses you have had in your young life. I am so sorry you’ve had to go through such painful life experiences. What an amazing and resilient person you are!

    I definitely think unresolved emotional issues can affect our health. For me, I’ve always heard unforgiveness can cause illness, and as such I’ve always wondered if that has impacted my health at all. You might recall I’ve mentioned in Natural Endo Girls that I was abused by my step-father and step-grandfather. Through the years I’ve felt like I’ve forgiven them, but there are times I wonder if I really have. I mean, what does complete forgiveness in a situation like mine feel like? Will I know it when I get “there”? Yes, I’m sure I will! It’s not that I’m unwilling to completely forgive, it just seems I’ve never quite reached “that” place of emotional freedom from it, which I think happens when one truly does forgive. Something for me to keep working on, I suppose!

    Thanks for your article.

    Love and Big hugs,

  16. Christa Petty via Facebook

    While emotional healing is good for everyone I do not see a connection as far as causation goes. I can see that stress and emotional turmoil can aggravate symptoms though but those are impossible to avoid…. If endo was because of rape or molestation than everyone who had that happen would have endo. Which is not the case. sorry don’t mean to troll..

  17. sarai

    I have thought about this at length. I think it is different for every endo girl. . . for me, I am not sure if there was abuse or not, but I have always had sexual “issues” i.e. not feeling comfortable expressing my sexual self, being told by parents and culture that sex is wrong or dirty, etc. I have often felt shame over my own desires and extreme frustration over my seeming inability to give voice to my desires in a satisfying and healthy way. When endo first manifested over two years ago, i became celibate and completely nonsexual as a way to “cleanse” myself. Now I see that perhaps part of the endo is my mind-body-soul crying out for a spiritual and deep sexual healing of sorts, though I am not sure how to bring that to be… Main stream society does not embrace women’s sexuality and I think there is a lot we need to work out on the individual level…. talking about tit openly really helps, and I THANK YOU, dear Melissa, for all your inspirational efforts and realness and for writing this amazing blog…. also, as a side note, regarding psychology, I do think it is helpful if you have someone you can really talk to at the heart level, as just naming things openly and being asked questions that cause you to consider angles you wouldn’t normally consider, can be helpful. But ultimately, I think we do need to free the locked emotions in the body somehow, which I have found difficult. This is something else we don’t really embrace in our culture. However, things like yoga and EFT are promising (I do yoga myself) and I also have found some release with acupuncture, especially with the needles in my stomach and pelvic area. . . love to all endo gals! May we heal together soon

  18. Melissa K

    I was not abused but my mother was. I developed endo around age 14 following no trauma. I feel I have inherited both endo (which has a strong hereditary component – my mother’s mother probably had it too) as well as inheriting a strong and disturbing family history of shame around sexuality.

    EFT seems valid to me. It sounds a lot like EMDR, which is a method of dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder. I had PTSD after a dangerous fire, and EMDR helped me so much.

    I just finished a relevant book: The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times by Pema Chodron. She is a Buddhist Nun in Nova Scotia but writes in a very plain, understandable style, telling you step by step how to “sit with” the uncomfortable, scary feelings, and how to treat yourself with great compassion even though we are all so very imperfect.

    I think it is instructive to think about these potential emotional components of endo, but I think some people get endo where this is not a factor. For instance, rhesus monkeys exposed to dioxin develop endo – and these monkeys were not abused!

  19. Melissa

    Thanks Tais. It is an interesting concept. I think we can empower ourselves by releasing these emotions, rather than becoming a victim to them. I used to blame my mom for heaps of stuff…. until I learnt that I was only hurting myself 🙂
    Hugs back from Spain

  20. Tais

    Dear Melissa, I constantly think about this. I don’t know if I was abused, I don’t think I was, but who knows? But it makes sense in a certain way as my mom always brought up the subject of sex as something dirty and to be ashamed of.
    I think it can have lots of emotional connections. Thank you for writing this blog and sharing your thoughts and emotions.
    A warm hug from Brazil!

  21. Sarah Bearman via Facebook

    I felt like it was more freeing to talk to women that have no history of abuse yet have severe endo ….so that I am not revictimized by the abuse thinking it was brought on by what happened to me and I am reliving through the pain.

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I'm Melissa

Sick of dealing with endometriosis and ready to move forward?

I empower women to stop feeling like a victim to their endometriosis and find empowering ways to reduce pain & symptoms. 



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