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Could More Sex Actually Help Our Endometriosis Pain? 3 Possible Reasons I Can Think Of!

This is going to have to be a fairly frank and honest blog entry, so I hope you are prepared. It has been a little while since I have had sex. With everything going on with my dad and the new job, it has just not really been a focus. Well, we had sex a few nights ago and I noticed something quite distinctive, which I hadn’t really noticed before.

The morning after I went to get up to do my yoga and as I was doing certain stretches, especially the ones that loosen the bum muscles and the lower abdominal muscles, I noticed that I was incredibly tight in those muscles. It may have been stiffness but as the day progressed I noticed that I was getting quite sore, doing physical things, especially anything that involved those muscles. It was the dull ache kinda sore, similar to Endometriosis. Kinda there and what’s the word? Tender.

I am yet to figure out why we get sore from sex. Sometimes I think it is the Endometriosis sticking to bits inside and when we then have sex it makes those bits move, which make us sore, but then I would imagine that would make us much more sore than just that dull ache afterwards. I used to get more of that piercing pain on my left side which was more likely that scenario… this was different. It wasn’t that deep penetrative pain from sex but rather the movement and physical exercise of sex that made me feel kinda tender.

This got me thinking. So, if that tender soreness is due to a stiffness of certain muscles we might use down there, while we are having sex, perhaps if we exercised them more frequently, they would become stronger and we wouldn’t get sore anymore? See, I don’t know about you but I also get sore when I physically do more than the norm, if I stand around for longer than a normal day or I lift heavy things. Or like going to the gym and doing more than my body can physically do.

So, my first reason would be to reduce muscle tension and stiffness and build those muscles up in the body. One of the things I am going to try next time though is to do some stretches afterwards to test this theory of “inner stiffness” and see if it alleviates the tender feeling. I might look a little silly doing yoga stretches just after sex but hey, James should know I am a little nuts by now!

The other theory I have as to why having more sex might be good for us is because sex is like an internal “flushing out.” It gets the blood moving down there. It opens up the pelvic area and allows things to move around. That can’t be bad. After all, the Chinese doctors describe Endometriosis as a stagnation in the pelvic area. If we get movement through that area through sex, then that would help… surely?

The last reason I can think of is that it is a natural stress reliever. You just can’t think about other crap while you are having sex. It just totally releases so much stress and worry from your whole body!


Perhaps I am just looking for more reasons to have sex 🙂

What is your experience with sex and Endometriosis? Do you get tender/sore afterwards or during? Is it like a dull ache or more like a sharp piercing pain? What have you done to make it easier or do you just avoid having sex all together?

Would love to hear your thoughts.



Hugs, Melissa x
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This Post Has 19 Comments

  1. Melissa

    Hi Sarah,

    So sorry to hear that. The pill unfortunately is not a solution – it can aggravate the digestive system and often make you feel more bloated and inflamed. Maybe get my app to follow some ideas on how to eat healthy etc.

  2. Sarah

    Hi Melissa,
    I’ve taken the quiz which indicated that I do have endometriosis but I guess there’s a chance I don’t.. the only symptom I don’t seem to have is painful sex… I started the pill due to the symptoms having already presented… I began the pill about a year into these issues. My abdominal pain bloating and cramping is every day now though not just on my period

  3. Sarah

    You know, I read this article because I was questioning the same thing… I haven’t been properly diagnosed with endo yet because I haven’t gotten a laparoscopic surgery to check…
    That being said, were working with an endo diagnosis… I’ve been on the pill for a year, and don’t get my period anymore;however, I have cramping, constipation, bloating so bad I can’t wear pants, nausea- ALL THE TIME… like it’s not even related to my period anymore because I haven’t had it…although when I get it, I vomit and can’t get out of bed…
    That being said, one of the main things that helps is having sex.. it doesn’t hurt during and it doesn’t hurt for about 15-30 minutes after.. it almost feels as if some bloating went down…
    Now I’m starting to question if this is all endo that I’m dealing with??? I’ve seen tons of GI specialists.. and am on the pill.. but the pain is constant and I haven’t had my period since October! Any thoughts are welcome… I’m in the process of pushing to see an OB specialist in endo.. but now I wonder if I’m going in the right direction..

  4. Dhara

    Hi melissa. I had pain during periods since last few years and the doctor diagnosed me with endometriosis cyst on the ovary wall at the corner. I was a virgin till 2 months back. My first experience of sex was very painful and it bled for almost a week after that. But since then my sexual drive has increased tenfold and the periods pain has eventually disappeared. I am not able to understand it as people say endometriosis makes sex and periods painful. Can it be that my endometriosis was on the hymen tissue?

  5. Danielle

    Had to show this article to my boyfriend because he certainly believes more will make me feel better LOL… hard to know… When we first got together 4 years ago, before my endo, we could have sex all the time, anytime with no pain. When I first began experiencing pain during sex, I did not understand it and I psychologically began making sex an overall “painful experience.” Sure kills the mood when I have to restrain myself during an activity that’s supposed to be “freeing.” Over the last year I have had the worst time thus far with my endo, and to both mine and my boyfriend’s dismay, I have been reluctant to have sex often… leaving it to like 1-2 times a week, if that.. but not that enjoyable. In the last 2 months I have been working on my body and mind wellness in a natural way and have noticed my increased drive for sexual activity. But related to this article, I started taking a “dance conditioning” class twice a week for the last 2 months. The class focuses on strengthening your core pelvic area.. perfect for endo! I have noticed lots of soreness from strengthening those muscles, but less stiffness during sex! Just yesterday I was able to actually enjoy a position I would not do at all in the last year. We have been having sex more often lately and I am finding that using my “sex” muscles more often really does make a difference. I dont have an absence of pain, but I can finally enjoy the experience again.

    On a side note, I think the intensity of pain during sex is influenced by our mental standpoint at that time. If i am looking forward to sex and not dreading the pain, I generally don’t suffer as much as when I go into the experience doubting it’s success. My intimate relationship has also improved since my boyfriend has become more educated on endo and he better understands my pain. It always helps when you dont go into sex thinking, “i hope he doesn’t get mad at ME for being in pain with something I cant control”

  6. Melissa

    Hi Cassie. This certainly is unusual so I can see why you are trying to find answers :). One of they key symptoms with endo is pain during sex but who knows what it could be? One thing that may be a contributor… are you on the pill during this time that you are sexually active? The pill could be lessening the symptoms for you. If not, the only other thing I can think of is, what this article suggests but also perhaps that it has something to do with stimulating your sex hormones. Have you tried Maca Root Powder? What treatment have you tried or are you using? I can only try and guess really as endo is hard to assess just on one thing. Did you read the symptoms list? Check that one out and see how you went with that list. If you tick yes to more than 5, it could be endo. If you don’t feel comfortable talking about this on the web, you can email me via facebook or on my About Me page, there is my email address.

  7. Cassie

    Hello, I came across your blog while doing a search. I feel a bit awkward commenting, but I’ve been trying to find answers about this topic.. Well, I’m 19, I have had bad cramps starting in high school to the point where I had to get wheeled out of school in a wheel chair because I could not walk. The cramps stopped my senior year ish for awhile, but when I started college they started back up. It usually involves me being stuck to my bed for about two days, throwing up, etc. When I went to the doctor back in high school my doctor, who was a guy, didn’t really pay much attention, he didn’t order an ultra sound of my ovaries or anything. He just prescribed me Loratabs, which made me even more sick when I took them. I finally got an ultrasound of my ovaries done a few months ago at the beginning of this semester. I’ve been waiting to get the results back. I was a virgin until about 18/19ish and during the course of time of being sexually active, my almost labor-pain like cramps that I get each month stopped completely. I’ve been on and off with the same guy, for the past year, but we haven’t had sex in about 7 months and as soon as we stopped, it came back the following period. I’m not quite sure I understand why this is? I’m not exactly sure I have endometriosis, as I have not been diagnosed with it, but everytime I read something on the internet it seems like it may be that or cysts. I never had pain during sex though so I’m not quite sure. The pains are really unbearable and I’m wondering if sex would help but I get paranoid and feel guilty doing it when I am not married, well I guess that’s a whole other story, but I’m just getting so fed up with these pains every month. Does sex help? Surgery?

  8. Sara

    I have had no sex drive since the endo pain began over a year ago, and am scared to have sex. I have no partner and feel lonesome as it’d be nice to cuddle etc once and awhile, but because I feel I cannot be intimate with someone in a “normal” way, I find myself slipping into a depressive thought pattern of “well, I’ll just be alone forever because of this condition.” This article made me smile with the thought I could be wrong, maybe I need to go the other direction LOL. Well, what I (and all of us) should remember is that everything is temporary and no one know what is around the corner. Never give up, especially on love (&\or sex) 🙂

  9. Melissa

    Thanks for sharing Wend. Interesting about what the naturopath said – so perhaps I am not so silly with this idea 🙂
    I believe the body can reverse anything. Hey, we break a leg and can heal that? We can hurt ourselves with a cut and the body heals that. The body created endo too and it can be reversed too. Sure, it can’t put back bits that have been removed but it certainly can repair 🙂

  10. Renee

    I have extreme pain during sex when I actually attempt it. However, the pain caused by sex is over shortly after, but I may not notice it sue to the fact that I am always in pain.

  11. Melissa

    I am sorry to hear that Lilia. I have found ways to reduce my pain from it and it is so much better now. Is it always sore or only at certain times of the month?

  12. Melissa

    Sorry to hear the pain with it is all back again and that the surgery didn’t work out long-term. It was worth a thought anyways 🙂

  13. Melissa

    I can totally relate to that Brandy. I also find it somehow easier to be “ready”for sex when I’ve had a few. I am sorry it is so severe that it is a permanent thing though. I hope you find some answers through my blog. Feel free to write to me in person and I can try and help you 🙂

  14. Lilia

    I wish I could just stop having sex melissa. It can be so painful and that pain would last for days. I get to hate sex.

  15. Leslie

    When I was a young adult I was able to still enjoy sex and I had A LOT of it. This did NOTHING to help any of my symptoms (cramping, general abdominal pain, or pain during sex). Now my pain during sex was always a tender thing, in general just insertion caused pain and heaven forbid he mistakenly hit a bad spot inside. Oh and the pain afterwards was never pleasant, almost like burning, sore, and raw. Eventually sex just became unbearable until I finally had excision surgery which removed endo off my bladder, abdomen, and Cervix. As soon as that was gone my sex drive came back full on but I was scared of the pain, but when we tried the pain was gone! until the endo came back again….and it started all over.

    So lots of sex isn’t the answer for I’m sure many people. Especially all those people trying to conceive and have sex as often as they can just in case yet still suffer.

  16. Brandy

    I hate to admit this but the pain I get after sex from my endo is quite severe. I get the sharp stabbing pain on my right side along with the stiffness that feels progressive from the endo. Although my bf does not understand I prefer to have sex after either taking a pain pill or having a few drinks of some alcohol because I feel it helps me to be able to have sex at a reduced pain level because im pre-relaxed. I know that sounds horrible but without that kind of buffer I dont want to have sex because I am so worried about the consequences ill pay for the next day with the pain.

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I'm Melissa

Sick of dealing with endometriosis and ready to move forward?

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