I think the last few weeks have finally taken their toll on my body. As much as I have tried to “be good” and give myself time to adapt and take things easy, I unconsciously just …. didn’t. I have started a new job running a slightly run down lodge, moved to a new place and am still processing all the stuff with my dad being terminally ill, without really “being present” in any one of those and well…. I think my body finally gave way last night and said: STOP AND LISTEN!
I remembered the old feelings of Migraines as it approached. Noise was painful. Light was unbearable and the only solution seemed to involve me, hurled over the toilet emptying out whatever lay in my stomach. It was just nasty. I felt shacky, teary and just plain rotten. I used to suffer from Migraines frequently. When I was a teenager. I remember them well. They were usually brought on by some emotional episode with my mom and because I didn’t know how to process it and I simply swept it under the carpet, days later, it would inevitably lead to a Migraine. I used to use suppositories as my pain relief. The frequency was scary – monthly for probably 2years!
Thing is, I never realised the reason why I was getting them. Now, being a little wiser and a little older, I guess I have noticed the correlation between them and my emotional wellness.
At the moment, it feels like my head just won’t shut-up. Everything is going around in my head. Am I in the right place? Is this for me? What is the meaning of life? – yes, even this one! It is like my head is literally bursting with information going around in it! So, my theory is, that this is perhaps the reason I got a migraine last night. Today, my head has slowed down. Mainly, I think because all that thinking does require energy and I have been feeling quite tired all day. It is as if my body is shouting at me, saying: You need to stop thinking so much!
The same thing used to happen with my Endometriosis. On days when I was super stressed, it would flare up. It would force me to spend a day just relaxing and taking it easy, for it to go down. Once again, my body saying: slow down and take it easy!
I guess this is indirectly a positive. It kinda forces us to listen to our bodies and treat it with more respect.
I used to hate that endo would do this. I wanted to be like everyone else – run and run all day and feel nothing for it. Thing is, it is not good for anyone to treat their body badly. It is simply asking for trouble!
It does pose a question on why we do what we do. Why do we drive ourselves and why do we push so hard?
Sometimes, I think the natives of Fiji or Africa or any other natives, have figured out something we just haven’t! Life doesn’t need to be “successful” or “have meaning” or any of that. They are happy to just live in the moment and enjoy life. I envy that as I wish I could be like that more. All that other stuff just causes so much stress and we loose sight of what is really important – those we love and creating memories of things we enjoy. Simple…..
Do you suffer from Migraines? What are your thoughts?