My mom and my sister have come to visit me here in New Zealand, which has been so wonderful! We spent Christmas together with James’s family in a beautiful house in Piha. James and I also announced our engagement to everyone, which is so exciting for everyone! Since then, I thought I would show my mom and sister New Zealand and we have been on the road for a few days already. It has really got me thinking about so many aspects of my life – travelling has a way of doing that 🙂 and one of them is how I feel about Endo, my health and truly finding a cure for Endometriosis. It got me thinking on why I keep searching, researching, learning and naturally sharing with you….. here is what I came up with:
1. I love to travel
One of the things that I have found really hard about travelling is the whole “sticking to the endo diet”. It means stopping at food shops, stocking up on things and certainly restricts the ability to “try new things”! I am certainly not suggesting that we revert back to our typical western diet but it would be great to be able to try different foods and not suffer with pain, nausea or diarrhea because of them. It all comes down to an immune weakness and a poor liver function, which naturally we are all working towards healing.
2. I really enjoy being intimate
I know this is a touchy subject for many of us and can cause so many emotional struggles within our relationships. Thing is, personally I feel this is so important in our relationships. It is a way of bonding, really isn’t it? Unfortunately, with endo, sex is sore and what we can do is restricted. I hate this! I want to be able to “be free” again with sex and being intimate.
3. Endo causes worries
I know when I have pain, even just a little bit of pain, it creates a worry and a stress. Endo has this thing about it, don’t you think? where we worry that it is spreading, getting worse and that somehow it is just taking over everything down there. I feel such a desire to have a look inside and see what is going on? I wish I no longer had any symptoms, any pain and could just be free to live my life without that worry that it is still there and growing.
4. Endo makes me tired
Travelling is naturally tiring but with endo, it feels like we just wear out so much faster. I think it is the body trying to process “extra stuff”, outside of what it needs to do each day. The minute I don’t get enough sleep, don’t eat as well and drive too much, I feel incredibly tired. I feel like a need an afternoon nap almost daily at the moment 🙂
5. Being real
There are certain times of the month where my emotions are so all over the place, that I honestly don’t know who I am. I hate not being able to trust what I really feel. I can go from being happy, to being completely miserable in a day! It is frustrating and horrible, because those “instincts” are so misjudged by the over-active hormones.
I know it is “risky” to believe we can really cure ourselves our endometriosis. I know for many of us, these motivational pointers are like I am rubbing salt in the wound. Thing is, for me they are motivation to keep going. They are the reason I want to cure myself and it gives me the discipline to do whatever diets, drink strange herbal concoctions or emotional release techniques I need to do.
I hope this blog entry gives you some relief in knowing that we are in this together and that we do share these feelings together. I also hope that it motivates you to also believe that we can cure ourselves of Endometriosis. No matter what it takes!
What are the things you hate about having endo? What motivates you to get rid of it, for good?