When things get too much!

When things get too much!

The last two weeks have been very stressful for me. I have taken on a new role and the previous person who held the position left things in a rather large mess. I am someone who enjoys an orderly environment to work in and I struggle to work when things don’t have their place and there is no systems. I find lack of order more stressful than I guess what most people would consider stressful – moving house or not knowing what to do in a role. Those I seem to find easy in comparison 🙂 Yes, I know I am strange…

The thing is, that my endo has really flared up the last two weeks. It hasn’t been this sore for quite some time. I have had to ask myself some really tough questions about the job and my health and my body. Ideally, I would like to just stay home and write to you as I find that the most enjoyable thing :).

A part of me wants to simply stick with it and hang in there, believing that it will get better and that I will be able to give the role the structure and organisation that I feel it needs. Another part of me questions whether it is all worth it as it is affecting my health and my stress levels. Thing is, I feel like I am kinda giving in to endo by quitting too. It is like saying, “I allow you to rule my life!”. I hate that! I want to make decisions which are based on what I really want to do.

There is also another angle to all this….. see I also think that perhaps I could handle the situation better and take things slower. A huge part of me is always forcing time. I don’t give myself enough time to allow things to unfold and get organised. I want things organised and sorted within a short time. I lack patience when things don’t get done and then get more stressed out that things are still disorganised – wow, I know TOTALLY COMPLICATED!!!!

I think I almost create the stress for myself. A part of me thinks that it is this very personality trait of needing order and structure which actually creates unnecessary stress for myself. I get annoyed when I can’t find things and things are lengthly to do because there is not a shorter and simpler way of doing things.

Now, I know a few of my friends that also have Endo suffer from these very same traits so I am hoping you girls out there can share in my thoughts on this one.

It is a really hard decision and I would love your thoughts on it.

Big hugs,

PS: If you want to figure out how to manage endometriosis naturally, sign up to my free REACH Kickstarter program. Simply click here to sign up. 

Share your thoughts...

  1. Hang in there my friend!
    I have done this to myself several times. I have stressed myself out over silly things it seems now looking back. But at the time they must have seemed important enough to stress about and by the time I realized what I was doing to myself I was already in pain and got mad at myself for it knowing it would take me some time to get better again.
    The only thing I know to do is to let it go. Let your higher power handle it, give it up. It works for me. We’re just not always in control of everything that happens in our life. Once I get to the point of recognizing this and let go, and take a deep breath, I feel better about the situation. Things may not happen as fast I want it to but they do happen, in the time that it’s supposed to I guess. And it is so much easier to go with the flow! Really!
    I guess you need to see if you like this job and see yourself be there long term. If not, just knowing that it is temporary while you keep looking for something else will probably help a litle.
    Hope you de-stress quickly so you can feel better soon!
    Hug to you!

    • Thanks Annabelle! You always know what to say 🙂 You are so right. I need to just let it go and if things go wrong or things don’t happen as quickly, really it is not all within my powers to make them happen. I am going to try a new tactic in the job which might help the situation and if that doesn’t work, yes I shall be looking for something else. We shall see how it goes and thank you once again!

  2. Melissa, I’m pretty sure that taking it slower is key! What helps me when I get stressed and my endo gets worse because I’m stressed but then I’m stressed because my endo is bad and I fall into that vicious cycle (which seems to happen a lot this time of year) is to remember to slow down. It takes women with endo twice (if not longer) as long to do anything. I’m a fast paced girl who grew up in a fast paced environment and I work fast… i mean, hell, life is fast – slowing down is so freaking hard for me. But in the last year, I’ve started to accept that having endo means that I have to take everything slower and that’s ok. And if others pass me by while I’m taking it slow and don’t bother to come back and check in (either personally or professionally), that’s not my problem. This is who I am. My body aches, my muscles ache, my vagina aches and all of this together makes my head and mind ache. But by taking it slowly and taking care of ourselves, we can live a pain free life (or as close to it as possible) and still get the things done that we need to get done. That we are meant to get done. And actually, you taught me this – in your blog, in your videos. (I think about the post you wrote about how sometimes it’s like, why can’t I go out and have a few drinks with friends? Why can’t I eat whatever the heck I want at a restaurant?) Well, we can’t. And I’m starting to accept that’s ok. xoxo.

    • Thanks Jen, you are so right. I guess I find it hard to accept sometimes and that perhaps I should make a different career choice which is perhaps easier on my body and doesn’t demand so much of me. Accepting not being able to drink and eat certain foods seems somehow easy. Making a career choice based on endo seems to be taking things a little too far for me, like I am giving it too much power. I will definitely take your advice and slow down and accept that it might just take me longer than everyone else and not to be so competitive and wanting to always achieve more than everyone else and better and faster:). We are unique and special and we should stop working so hard to prove it! Thank you Jen. Your thoughts are so brilliant! Thanks for sharing!

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