Sometimes I just want to look inside and see what is going on!

Sometimes I just want to look inside and see what is going on!

I think one of the hardest things I found with Endometriosis, is that we cannot just go to the doctor and have a scan and know then and there, where we are at with our Endo. An Ultrasound doesn’t give us a definitive answer. They can see swollen linings and cancerous growths and large Ovarian Cysts but Endometriosis is very difficult to see on an Ultrasound. I know my Endometriosis Specialist got quite good at seeing it but most will simply say that everything looks normal. This is one of the reasons it takes so long to get a diagnosis for Endometriosis! The only way for know for sure is to go in and check things out.

This creates a certain level of worry for me. I get pain and I start to worry about what is going on in there. I just want to go in myself and have a look. See what is going on. I don’t want to necessarily cut it out or anything. I just want to know where things are at. Are they getting worse or are they getting better? The pain can be so deceiving. So many thing can cause pain down there. Poor digestion, Interstitial Cystitis, stress and even just wearing the wrong clothes for the day can cause so much pain. I even found that just eating Gluten can make me think it’s endo flaring up! It creates a certain level of stress… you know the “not knowing”. We feel pain and straight away we start to visualise the worst.

I know for many of us, the curiosity of what is going on eventually does take over and we feel the strong urge to just to have a Laparoscopy. The thing that I have realised since starting this journey on my blog is just how bad these Laparoscopies really are for us. I never even considered the damage they were doing, while trying to heal us …. or should I say cut stuff out! Every operation actually creates wounds inside, “scaring” is the term they use and the body has to heal all that. Now I know for some us, cutting it out is better than leaving things where they are but for me, I am at a stage where I would avoid those operations like the plague! I have had so many over the years and though they offered some temporary relief, they never actually solved anything. I got into a mindset where, I would carry on with the status quo… as in: eating whatever, drinking whatever and generally not taking care of myself and believing that: “Oh well I can just go for another operation to clean things up again when the pain gets worse!”. I know…. scary mindset but that is honestly how I used to live my life. To be honest, I believed that I should “live it up” for that year, or year and half while I had no pain, until I had to go for another operation. Scary when I think of it now. I saw it like a “clean up” and to be honest never even considered that there was any other options for me to deal with Endometriosis. I literally carried on with this pattern for years. Most of my 20’s. I had seven operations, and they usually followed a year to a 18month repetition. Thing is, I probably would have considered this a “way of life” for years…and years. I thought this was my only option as someone with Endometriosis.

It was only when I immigrated to Australia and couldn’t afford the Laparoscopy that I started to even consider natural healing or trying to fix the problem on my own. It was scary. I’ll be honest. I never believed in any of it. I really thought that “cutting it out” was my only form of “treatment”. It worked and though it was temporary it gave me instant pain relief.

My mom had always been into that “weird hippy healing stuff” and though some of it did seem to offer her some relief, I really didn’t think it could possibly help with such a big thing like Endo! Endometriosis was after all non curable! My Gynaechologist didn’t believe that diet or any of these supposed natural methods would do much, so why should I believe in any of it?

I felt desperate and eventually I came to a place where I gave myself an alternative. “If this alternative stuff doesn’t work in the next 6months, then I will pay for the Laparoscopy in cash!” I did. I did it properly. Changed the diet, changed my outlook, cut out stress in my life and went to see a Chinese Doctor. I also focused on my emotional aspects in my life and IT WORKED! The Endo was completely gone within 6months! I was pain free for 4years! Unfortunately I stuffed it up with going back on the pill – I simply didn’t know any better! – read more of my story in my about page.

 

So, I guess though there is this scary stuff going on in my head right now, worrying about what is going on inside and whether my Endo has gotten worse over the last month….. since the pain seems to have come back. I know that I can do it. I have done it before and I just need to stick to healing naturally. Give myself time to heal. Time to relax and time to allow the emotional stuff to come out, when it is ready.

I have been feeling rushed, pressured and I think this has only contributed to my Endometriosis pain getting worse. Today was different. I let it go. I let the worry go. I let the thoughts of “what is going on inside me” go and I just let things be. I allowed myself to trust that “everything will be okay” and “you will get there”. It is amazing how much better my pain levels have been today and how much more in control I feel.

So, if you are feeling pressured, stressed and like you just don’t know where to turn. Give yourself time. Start to believe that you can heal and start to search for real answers. Answers that allow you to heal yourself.

I know we are always curious about what is going on in there because we worry that it is getting worse. Even if it is, we can heal that too and we can find natural ways to flush out whatever is building up in there too 🙂 Laparoscopies are not your only answers. There are plenty of ways to “clean out” the endo without digging around in there, causing bruising and extra scaring.

I hope you keep searching for more natural options to allow your body to really heal. I know I am and I will keep searching as I discover them 🙂

 

Big hugs,

PS: If you want to figure out how to manage endometriosis naturally, sign up to my free REACH Kickstarter program. Simply click here to sign up. 

Share your thoughts...

  1. I can definitly relate to your feelings Melissa. I have had 4 laps, and a hysterectomy. All because of the endo and the pain it caused. But even before I had the first Lap the trek was a long one. I went to different MD’s and for a few years I was told there was nothing wrong because there was NOTHING visible on the ultrasound. I was starting to really feel like a hypocondriac. How do you explain pain that doesn’t show up. It must be in your head right? I did have the Laps over time and usually it was just ovarian cysts and some endo. I was cured!! No…I still feel like pregnancy and breast feeding cured me because I had no pain during those years. Well,, the hormones gave my body a rest.
    Even when I had the Hysterectomy there was no endo found. Interesting? A retroverted uterus was causing me pain? What ever, it is done with now.
    So many times I want to reach in and just grab it and dispose of it once and for all or just replace some parts of me LOL.
    I think having a healthy balance in your life is the real answer. We have to work on all parts to get any better.
    I am still looking for a Natropath in my area. I have not succeeded yet. It is really so unfortunate that surgery has become the cure all for so much. Then again.. if you go to a Gynecologist and he or she does surgeries, that is probably what they will recommend.
    On my final note, I will just note my most recent experience with a GYN that was recommended to me. She said “We can do a lap or you will just have to deal with it until menopause, which could be 5-10 years for you.” That was it. I will not be going back and no I don’t have to just DEAL with anything.
    All my love and peace to all of you.
    Jane

    • I know how you feel so much 🙂
      I wish we could get a new type of “Body Shop” where we can just buy new body parts! Ha ha! But yes so true – it all works together and it isn’t just one body part that is at fault!
      I don’t really get angry at Gynies anymore. Most of them simply don’t know any better and their years of training has almost ingrained their belief that “operations and drugs are the only REAL solution”. It is sad but that is how it is. All we can do is prove that those methods are not ideal and that we need to educate ourselves more about how the body works together!
      You are so right! We don’t have to deal with anything! We can heal and be super dooper happy and healthy 🙂
      Hugs
      Melissa

  2. I really need to find a naturopath in our new city. I’m currently having a “bad endo moment” as I type this. Brain fog, lethargy, feeling weepy, more foggy….can’t make a decision to save me. I find that the pain can be helped with ibuprofen, it’s all the other little things that are hard to manage. I give in and couch it for a couple of days. And I worry. I need to get on top of all this.

    Thank you for your blog. Such a huge blessing to me!!

    • Totally with you on all of that. I found the brain fog went quite abit when I cut out sugar, dairy and gluten. I don’t struggle to remember or keep a clear head as much. Somehow things do feel easier when we have more energy too. 🙂 Maca and Spirulina are massive to help with those!

      Thanks Mimi! Hugs back!

  3. I am a big believer in my naturopath- I got to the point a bit like you Mel, where I decided that anything was worth a go and shelled out for a naturopath and my quality of life absolutely sky-rocketed. Seeing her helped in so many ways, not just with pain, but emotionally too.
    A lot has changed in my life since I last went, it must be time for me to pop along and get a new concoction made up.
    One good thing about Endo (probably the only good thing) is that it is consistent- you know when you will have symptoms and exactly what to expect each month so I find that it is easy to gauge the success or failure of any healing you try-

    • Thanks Kate! That is such an important point and one we can really take on board as a positive way to measure our progress! Glad to hear your naturopath was so effective! 🙂

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