I always remember that funny little devise they use in Star Wars where they can simply scan over the body with this little tool and it lists all the things that are going on inside, without having to cut you open. That is what I wish they would hurry up and invent! Wouldn’t it be cool to have a little thing that tells you if Endo has spread, gotten better or what is going on?
I know when I first started getting painful periods all those many years ago when my whole discovery of Endo began, I felt so frustrated. The pain was unbearable. I would yell and scream at doctors to find the cause and for over a year they simply said I needed to change my diet as it was Irritable Bowel Syndrome! It was frustrating not perhaps because changing my diet just wasn’t enough but perhaps because I knew it was more than that. I wanted something definite. I wanted a label. Something I could claim as a condition which would justify my pain and my complaints to everyone around me. After a year of complaining about period pain and various other ailments my parents started to put me down to simply being a weak little pathetic girl who just didn’t deal with pain well and wanted extra attention! In a way having a label helps. It can put claim to something. You can get sympathy 🙂 and it also makes you feel like your pain is justified and that someone else has got it. Knowing now that there are about 1in7 girls that have it, it makes me feel so much better. Somehow it is not just me being pathetic and just suffering from “painful periods”.
Well, yesterday my period pain was ridiculous. It hasn’t been this sore for ages. I started to get all panicky. My mind started to wonder and that is never a good thing with me and pain. I start to imagine the worst. I start to picture that it has spread to all parts of my body and it has begun mutating and clinging onto all my organs and it has just spread everywhere. Aaaaahhhhh it is scary! I wanted that scanning device from Star Wars so bad! I wanted someone who could just have a quick scan, without an operation to tell me that it was all okay and I shouldn’t worry, it is just the accumulated stress from work and quitting my job and moving to a new town. But, we haven’t invented that little scanner so….. I resorted to the next best thing and went for some acupuncture instead. Now, I am not a huge fan of acupuncture but I figured it would work and it did! It worked amazingly well and I feel much better today. It somehow releases the tension in the body and things start to ease and all the worries start to disappear as I feel back in control again.
I know there are some girls out there who never experience any pain with Endometriosis and on some level I am envious of that. Yes, pain gives us an indication of how our healing is going but it can also create extra stress – like when it makes you think it is worse than it really is! So much of our pain comes from stress, anger and emotional thought patterns that we can then easily misinterpret physical pain over emotional pain release. I know for me, when I am stressed, endo gets sore. This is not to say my overall healing isn’t working, it just means that the stress of that particular day has affected my body and is causing me pain. Big difference! I guess there is one obvious solution to this….. alleviate any stress where you can in your life to avoid any pain – whether that is overall pain or “day specific”.
My biggest saviour when I get sore has to be my personal pain diary. It records how I am feeling and details my digestion, endo pain, headaches and any other symptoms I might have. When I have a particular endo sore day and those nasty thoughts come in, I review this diary. It helps so much because I can see how far I have come. I can see that I no longer have headaches. My digestion is dramatically improved, my body aching has dissipated and my endo pain is so intermittent compared to what it used to be. Healing through natural methods takes so much time and being patient with it is often a struggle for me as I am sure it is for you too. Thing is, recording where you have come from will make you feel like the waiting and the working at it, day by day does work and that you will get there.
If only I had recorded my ailments and pains when I was a wee 16year old girl! If I had known that my headaches, migraines, digestion issues, back ache, emotional ups and downs, bladder infections, candida, tiredness, nausea, pain during sex and major major period pain were in fact much clearer indicators that it was Endo. I just never put them all together when I went to doctors and perhaps knowing that they were related might have pointed them in a better direction.
How long did it take you to discover you had endo? Was it years? What did doctors say to you? Mine were really funny now that I look back on it. I had tests for digestion, stomach ulcers and even appendicitis! Do you agree that having a label helps?